it's not easy
by pyr0technic
Summary: Simon just can't stop things from spiraling downhill, even when Athena's involved.


As soon as Simon exits that courtroom, the first thing that really strikes him in the middle of all the commotion of lawyers and people and congratulations are the tears of Athena Cykes. No one really noticed besides Phoenix Wright, as most just chalked it up to her emotional tendencies. However, Simon was appalled by this reaction.

These last seven years had been no easy ordeal for anyone, really, and he could tell that just by glancing at Wright and Edgeworth who seemed to be having a similar exchange of their own. Athena played off her emotions sometimes, but to him it was obvious that there was so much more to it. As if it was more than a simple cathartic moment, that really, lying underneath as a whole new layer of pain that she had yet to express.

So when Justice had striked up the idea that they all go out to Eldoon's, Simon gladly invited himself to the event. However, right then, it wasn't so much as for Athena - he wouldn't be involved with her, not yet - but out of fear. There would be something he would have to face if he left right then and there, and it was only human for him to want to put it off as long as possible.

When they're there, he mostly glazes over while everyone else socializes and laughs. He raises an eyebrow at Prosecutor Edgeworth colouring over something while speaking to Wright and simply shakes his head. How dreadfully obvious.

Out of the corner of his eye, he suddenly spots Justice stand up abruptly and produce a flimsy excuse about leaving. Since everyone is preoccupied, it's easy for him to make his exit unnoticed. However, Athena notices, and she follows after him.

Simon stays at the table for a while in silence, concentrating all his thoughts into eating his noodles. After he drains the bowl, he realizes he has no excuse to not satisfy his curiosity. A swift glance to the left tells him Justice and Athena have not returned.

He subtly hands Wright a few bills, brushing over goodbyes and thank yous as quick as possible. Wright seems a bit confused, but Simon retaliates with the fact that he has a ton of unfinished business to tend to.

As soon as he exits the premises, a very gentle noise he picks up. Knowing the source, he walks quietly until he reaches the alleyway where he catches a flash of yellow and red. He hides behind, and listens to the exchange.

Justice is sitting next to the disposal bin with his head between his knees. His arms are wrapped around himself protectively, and Athena hesitantly sits next to him on her knees with an intense look of worry.

"I'm... God, I'm really sorry, Athena. I don't know why now, of all times... I'm..." His voice breaks, and the sound is so quiet Simon would have missed it if he wasn't so familiar with the noise. He hears sobs of anguish.

Justice, contrary to Simon's beliefs, is very quiet when he cries.

Athena hovers uncertainly for a moment, but caves in and wraps her arms her around him. "Apollo... it'll be okay. You'll be okay. It's okay."

Justice shakes his head no in her embrace but Athena keeps repeating those words, careful to use the word 'okay' and not 'fine.'

"Clay would've done this for me," Justice says shakily.

Simon feels something in his stomach sink, and he leaves.

* * *

There's an ever-persistent silence that unnerves Simon.

For the time being, Simon moves into Aura's house. It's quite spacious and lavishly decorated, but that, of course is expected. He doesn't like it at all. It's so quiet he turns on the television and listens on to the drone for hours before reminding himself he should probably go shower.

It's all very surreal - the cleanliness of the water, the scented bath soap and the way steam fills the air when he walks out - it's like he never left but left completely.

When he settles in bed, it's understandable how he tosses and turns until it's two in the morning. He had been alone for the past seven years, so why was it so hard to be alone right now?

He shakes his head and turns on the lamp on the bed stand which illuminates the room. He catches sight of a family picture on the table, and his eyes soften at the photograph of Aura, laughing, holding Simon on her back as children.

Right, Aura. How could he have possibly let it slip his mind? Whether he liked it or not, he would have to request defense from the Wright's agency.

So Simon sighs and travels to the kitchen, pops in sleeping pills and as he goes back to sleep, wonders if he would ever be able to sleep without them again.

* * *

When Simon first arrives, no one is there. He stands uncomfortably inside, deciding to wait until someone made an appearance. A girl comes in a few minutes later with long braids and soft eyes.

She gasps at the sight of him and Simon suddenly feels guilty. Was he really so intimidating? Had his name been dragged through the mud like that?

Then she suddenly smiles. She greets him and asks him if anyone else is around. Simon is perturbed but responds accordingly, and the girl nods and suddenly it clicks - Juniper Woods.

She begins to tell him that he had actually come here for a case that involved her father, and had thought dear Thena would be the perfect one to come to for her problem.

He, in return, tells her his reason for being there. He didn't really know why he was telling this to the girl he formerly tried to prosecute, but she didn't seem to hold it against him, and it was nice to talk at someone every once in a while.

Then, Athena enters the room and freezes - at the sight of him or Woods, Simon can't tell. Either way, Athena politely asks Woods to wait for her while she finished talking to Simon. Once Woods politely obliges and leaves, the room is filled with tension.

Athena nods her head dubiously before saying his first name, motioning for him to sit down.

Simon complies hesitantly and exhales shakily before making his request. He understands if Athena wants to kick him out right here and now - Aura had done awful things, hurt Athena and treated her like dirt. But he just wants a chance - it can be Justice, or Wright - any one of the three.

For a second, Athena looks at him like he's mad. She says of course she doesn't mind - and then she pauses mid-sentence, seeming to realize something. Slowly, she continues, maybe she could get Wright to take the case.

Simon is so relieved he doesn't think anything of her earlier slip up and thanks her. She nods firmly and smiles widely, saying it was no issue at all. Before another awkward silence can commence, Simon stands abruptly and says he has something to do. He nods and she nods and she lets him out, and Simon can't understand why he feels so bad.

* * *

After a week, Aura's trial is over. With the aide of Wright, Aura's sentence is minimized, and he visits her at the Detention Center. She seems to be doing just fine, which is surprising for Simon. He never thought she'd end up softening up in a prison cell. God knows what those seven years did to him.

Aura smiles when she talks and tells him not to worry. Simon isn't sure what to say, but he tell her he'll visit often and bids a hasty farewell before leaving the dreaded place.

He laughs bitterly, since when was it a chore to exchange a few words with his own sister?

She told him that there's some cash stashed away in the house and to use it to buy some new clothes. Seven years called for a lot of fashion change, apparently. Simon didn't really want new clothes, but he did want to give his sister the satisfaction of her brother listening to her, so he accepts anyway.

When he exits the centre, he runs into none other than Justice and Athena. When Simon asks what she's doing there, she stutters and seems rather flustered when she answers it was nothing. Justice is tentatively rubbing his wrist, but Simon doesn't even need that to know she was lying.

But she changes the subject quickly. She asks if Simon is doing anything, and Simon finds himself telling her nonchalantly that he's going to go do some shopping. He realizes his mistake only after Athena's delighted squeal.

She insists on tagging along, and pathetically, Simon looks towards Justice to help. He simply shrugs and laughs, and says that Wright needs him to watch the agency so he'd have to pass on this one.

Athena beams. "Perfect."

Simon nearly groans.

* * *

What an utterly disgusting domestic activity shopping is, Simon thinks as he strolls aisle after aisle with Athena at his side. The woman loved to shop, apparently.

He leans over to unfold a black shirt, inspecting it carefully before Athena sighs in aggravation.

"Why not something... less black?" she suggests. Athena rushes to the other side of the rack and picks out a dark blue button-up.

"Just put it in the cart," Simon says, pointing over to the object. He really didn't have the strength nor time to argue with her.

Athena seems slightly put off by this for some reason, and the rest of the shopping trip is spent in an uncomfortable silence. Simon wonders if he really did something to hurt her, but he hasn't the courage to speak up.

What if he makes things worse?

He's driving the car and she's the shotgun and for some reason he can't stand it anymore. He stops the car, and they sit together in absolute silence.

"Have I upset you?" Simon asks.

Athena's eyes flash with an emotion he can't recognize. "Simon, you're _depressed_."

Simon feels angry. Did he not have the right to be upset after everything that happened? Did she think that somehow everything would magically fix itself now that his sentence had been lifted?

He opens his mouth to speak, but Athena steps out of the car and shuts the door. She walks off without another word.

Simon drives home.


End file.
